The Song Remembers When
by XellAn-Chan
Summary: What if the Hellmaster decided he didn't want to kill? i'm surprised more people haven't read this. it's Phibby angst. POOR PHIBBY *sniffle* ;_;


The Song Remembers When...  
By XellAn-Chan  
  
AN: this is a fic i wrote while listening to "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan over and over for an hour. i've written several fics with this song (am planning on posting a Zel/Ame one...), but this one's my favorite so far.   
  
to clear up a few things-  
the narrator, L-Chan, is NOT to be confused with L-Sama...i don't know the Lord of Nightmares on a personal basis...L-Chan is my best friend, also featured in "the Last Year: Senior Chronicles" (as Merry). the boy (obviously) is Phibrizio. the two girls involved are me (Phibby-Baby's comforter) and Pi-Chan, my cousin. these are my angsty thoughts about Phibby-Baby perhaps not being so fond of his job....  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Prelude  
  
L-Chan: Every one feels, at some time in their life, that they have no purpose; that everything they are doing is wrong. You find yourself doubting everything you know to be true and wishing there were a way to overcome your faults.  
  
then comes the point where you realize you can change. You can overcome. If it is what you truly want. And something marvelous happens...  
  
*soft music plays*  
  
First Verse  
  
L-Chan: The scene is a small, dark chamber. A child is curled up in the corner, his face buried in his hands, his knees drawn up to his chest. He is muttering to himself when a young woman of about seventeen steps into the room and looks about. Her gaze rests on the child and she smiles softly.  
  
"There you are. I was worried when you didn't - what's the matter?"  
  
L-Chan: He raises his head to look at her, his emerald eyes shimmering with tears. When he speaks, his voice is no more than a whisper.  
  
"Why? Why must I kill people? Why?"  
  
L-Chan: A strange mix of pity and compassion wash over her and she sits down beside him on the floor.  
  
"It's how you were made."  
  
"I don't like it...I don't want it. Wh-why me? Why must I?"  
  
"It is her will. People need to die. It's a part of life. You were chosen to be the one responsible for it."  
  
"I...I d-don't want to be..."  
  
L-Chan: Moved by sadness, she draws him into her arms.  
  
{Spend all your time waiting  
for that second chance  
for a break that would make it okay  
There's always some reason   
to feel not good enough  
and it's hard at the end of the day}  
  
L-Chan: He clings to her, hoping to find some long-forgotten peace in her arms. It's been a long time since any one's held him close. She hugs him tight, a lost confused child is always something which breaks her heart.  
  
"I know. I know it's not what you want. You wish it were different. But it can't be. This is who you are."  
  
"No...No...I don't wanna...no...tell me it's not..."  
  
"How I wish I could. But it is your fate; your destiny. You are forever chained to death."  
  
L-Chan: He shakes his head slightly, then buries his face in her soft purple scarf.  
  
'I can't. I can't do it.I'll kill no more."  
  
{Need some distraction,  
oh beautiful release,  
the memories seep through my veins  
that may be empty,   
oh yeah, weightless  
and maybe I'll find some peace tonight}  
  
"Oh, Child. the world would fall to ruins if you did not do your job."  
  
"Let it fall then. I cannot suffer the guilt of another murder."   
  
"It's not murder. Every one has a purpose. Once that purpose is fulfilled, it's their time."  
  
"It shouldn't be."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because it's not fair. I get to live forever...because...because there will always be p-people to kill. Even you will die someday. And I will be alone."  
  
"Don't talk like that."  
  
"Why not? It's true!"  
  
L-Chan: He bursts into tears, crying violently. The tears fall like rain, creating dark spots on the lilac fabric. She holds him tight, rocking him in her arms, until he slips into dreams from exhaustion.  
  
"Yes, sleep. be in the one place where she can't touch you, the one place where you are truly at peace. I have you; I will not let her hurt you..."  
  
{In the arms of the angel  
fly away from here  
and this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you feel  
you were pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie  
in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort here}  
  
Second Verse  
  
L-Chan: A second girl enters the room, slightly younger than the first. She looks anxiously upon the pair, the older girl with her pained expression, the child asleep in her arms.  
  
"Is he all right?"  
  
"It is beginning to take it's toll, all the killing. He sees no reason to go on."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I do not know. I worried something like this would happen. He's really no more than a lost innocence."  
  
"I know."  
  
"And everything's beginning to drag him down. He feels the world is against him."  
  
{So tied up in a straight line  
that everywhere you turn  
there's vultures and thieves at your back  
storm keeps on twisting  
keep on building the lies  
that make up for all that you lack}  
  
"I feel so sorry for him. He's never wanted this job. Since the dawn of time..."  
  
"I know."  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"What can I do? As long as it is what she wishes, it will be what he does."  
  
"But what about what you wish for him?"  
  
L-Chan: The two girls stare at one another for a moment. Then the older one looks away. Her chin quivers, her eyes fill with tears, and she sinks to the floor, the boy still asleep in her arms.  
  
"What I want does not matter."  
  
{Don't make no difference  
escape one last time  
it's easier than to believe  
in this sweet sadness  
oh this glory and madness  
that brings me to my knees}  
  
"You love him."  
  
"I do."  
  
"It hurts you to see him suffer."  
  
L-Chan: She remains seated on the floor, the sleeping child cradled on her lap. The other girl sits beside them, smiling kindly.  
  
"Keep on hurting for him. Keep on loving him. He knows you do. And it means so much to him."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Of course it does. Why do you think he's made it this far? Never doubt the power of one's love."  
  
L-Chan: They remain there silently, the older girl with him wrapped protectively in her arms the whole time. Her only desire is to free him from his pain; release him from his destiny.  
{In the arms of the angel  
fly away from here  
and this dark cold hotel room  
and the endlessness that you feel  
you were pulled from the wreckage  
of your silent reverie  
in the arms of the angel  
may you find some comfort here}  
  
L-Chan: He awakes, both looking and feeling much better. The girls have drifted off to sleep, their heads resting together. He smiles and snuggles deeper in her arms, feeling both warm and content.  
  
She opens one eye to find him gazing innocently upon her. She opens her mouth to speak, but he shakes his head. "I know," his eyes seem to be saying, "I know. You want to free me. You want to love me. I will allow it..." He wraps his arms around her, lays his head upon her chest, and his eyes slowly fall shut once again.  
  
She smiles sadly, overcome with emotions; love, sadness and hope envelope her as her arms wrap gently around him. He will be okay. She has succeeded. relief washes over her.  
  
{You're in the arms of the angel  
will you find some comfort here?}  
  
*music fades out...*  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
AN: i'm still not sure where the title came from...maybe this song reminds me how i want to leave my life behind... (((_-)) i'm in such an angsty mood!!!! curse you, Aleo!  
  
Disclaimer: i don't own the rights to this song...don't sue me. Why kick 'em when they're down? 


End file.
